A friend recommended sharing my birth experience. I guess every woman’s experience of birth is unique, but perhaps as a lesson for inexperienced mothers-to-be, I hope something can be learned from my experience. So guys, sorry if this entry is not quite up to your mmm… liking.
I started staining 2 nights before I gave birth. But there was no accompanying pain. I’d experienced mild contractions before, so I was sure that it wasn’t time yet. However, the next day my auntie (I was staying at Putrajaya, at my uncle’s place) insisted on having a doctor to take a look at it, well “just in case you have an opening and you do not realize it”. We went to the hospital where I was told that the opening was so small that only the baby’s hair could pass through. The doctor predicted that I would give birth after maybe 3 to 5 days.
The doctor’s prediction was far from true. That very night, I began feeling some contractions. Making the most of my before “pantang” time, I enjoyed a game of Scrabble with my cousins while stuffing myself with a quarter tub of La Cremeria ice-cream (Kakaq – I fell in love with La Cremeria ice cream after you introduced it to me). The contractions became stronger sometime in early morning and by 8.00 a.m., I noticed a steady flow of longer contractions which occurred about every 5 minutes. However, wanting to believe that it could be mere false alarm because somehow I was hoping that baby would wait for the father to come home, (and hubby was supposed to return that day) I waited and the contractions seemed to lessen a bit by 9.00 a.m. Nevertheless, by 10.00 a.m., I knew that I had to go to the hospital and asked Ayah (who, together with Mak, had been around since the previous evening after I returned from the hospital for the check-up) to send me there.
Ayah took a long time getting ready – it was 11.00 a.m. when we actually made our move. By then, I was really in pain that I simply refused to sit down when asked to do so by the nurse. I found walking able to lessen the pain. The nurse on duty took my blood pressure reading, checked my weight, even asked me to lie down to get a CTG reading (to check the baby’s heartbeat). Luckily, it wasn’t long when the doctor came to check on me. She checked my opening and told me that I was already 4cm dilated. Then she got my water broken. The dilation immediately grew to 8cm and already there was some rupture. So she asked the nurse to get me to a labour room pronto – it was time.
Then, everything happened so quickly. I was quickly wheeled to another room and asked to put on the birthing garment. The nurse asked me if I wanted to pass motion first but there was no time for it already. The next thing I knew, I was pushing. I remember somebody asking me if I would like to have my husband with me. Yes, very much so, thank you, but unfortunately, at that particular time he was still in Terengganu. It all happened so quickly that I did not even manage to let him know that I was going to the labour room. Baby was already too impatient to get out and see the world. As it happened, hubby only got to meet and hold baby for the first time about 12 hours after he was born.
I remember there were a few nurses around who were sort of cheering me on, encouraging me and praising me for my effort in pushing. I planned on attending an ante-natal class but never found the time to do so, so I really appreciated that I got a crash on-hand course on the technique of pushing. “Tarik nafas panjang-panjang…Push…. Push terus…. Curi nafas sikit, sambung push…Lagi… Push terus… Macam tu… Pandai… Lagi… Push terus..”
At one time when I was supposed to push, the nurse made a cut, but I wasn’t pushing so ouch – that really hurt… I actually pushed her hand away. She reprimanded me – “Puan, saya nak sambut anak puan ni, jangan la tolak tangan saya” Opppss sorry, that was my reflexes, rather than me acting on rational thoughts.
But like I’ve said before – it was quite easy (compared to many horror stories I’ve heard about first birth experience). I entered the labour room at 11.35a.m. and by 11.52a.m., my baby was safely delivered, alhamdulillah.
The nurse showed me the wrinkled-and-red-baby’s genital and asked me to pronounce whether it was a boy or girl. Initially hubby and I both hoped for a boy, but we had been told that it was going to be a girl when we went to a scan when I was in my 6th month of pregnancy. Apart from that, a lot of people had predicted me to get a girl based on the classic symptoms (tummy was small and more oblong like a watermelon instead of rounding like a ball, had a bad case of nausea and vomiting throughout the whole nine months, had more break-outs than usual, etc) So, we prepared ourselves for the arrival of a girl. In fact, I’d already even bought some bigger dresses in advance to be brought to Japan.
Imagine my joy and surprise when I saw that it was a boy. “It’s a boy!”, or so I exclaimed in wonder. Which made one of the nurses asked me, “Kenapa bunyi macam terkejut?” “Masa scan, doktor kata perempuan”, I explained. The nurse who held the baby and asked me to pronounce my baby’s gender assured me that it was a boy alright. She could tell from my expression that I was too delighted beyond words to learn that I gave birth to a boy after all. I was given a minute together with him after the nurse checked his vital signals, as he was laid on my chest, still red and quivering, just before he was cleaned. And my mind just went “Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy…My baby is a boy…”
The nurse who cleaned my baby noticed a pair of pink jumpsuit in the bag I brought for the baby and teased me, asking me to keep the pink stuff for the baby’s future sister, maybe in two years time. And I just grinned in response, thinking how happy hubby would be to learn that we got a boy after all, just like we’d initially wished for.
Then my baby was taken to the waiting hall to be introduced to the waiting family. So, Ayah got the honour of calling the azan to my baby first since hubby was not around to do so. Later, my father-in-law got the honour of giving baby’s first tahnik (feeding the baby with a small mixture of zam-zam water, honey and tiny bits of dates). The nurse who brought him out to Ayah commented that the azan was one of the loudest ever in the waiting hall. Well, that’s Ayah – guess that was how he expressed his thankfulness of getting his first grandchild.
I had my first proper, quiet, one-on-one moment with baby about an hour after delivery, after the nurses had worked on getting the placenta out and stitched the perineum cut and tear. I was so thankful that breastfeeding came easily for both of us. Even the nurse who presented the baby to me noted that, as she told me that some mothers find it difficult to breastfeed for the first time due to inverted nipple or the baby do not know how to suck correctly. But with baby and me, it happened so naturally easy. It was almost as if he knew that he only had 11 days with me before he could stop feeding on me, so he had to make the most out of it.
Oh my – that first moment, the first time I was able to hold him close in reality after carrying him inside me for nine months – it was pure heaven. There is nothing quite as unique – the feeling of joy, wonder, thankfulness all mixed up together. I even tried to shut my awareness that I had only 11 days before I was going to leave him, just so that I could enjoy our first moments together more. I lied on one side, feeding him, and all wrapped up in taking note of his features – his innocent huge black eyes, his tiny long fingers(like that famous Bollywood heartthrob Hritrik Roshan, my baby has a dual right thumb – so in his case he could even raise three thumbs up!) his soft dark hair, his birth mark, and all.
Then, the painful experience began.
Well, I felt really hungry after delivery. Partly because everything that I ate that morning all came out as I kept vomiting back whatever I ate – bread, calcium crackers, a mug if Milo. My auntie was very concerned, of course, telling me that I was going to need all the energy to push. It’s not like I refused to eat, only that what I ate refused to remain inside. So, yes, I was really famished when I thought it was all over. I thought I would be wheeled to the ward just in time for lunch to be served.
But apparently, it was far from over.
The Kelantanese, 27-year-old nurse who did the initial stitches came to check on me. There was a blood clot on my left labia, so, she opened the stitches and I could feel and saw some blood smattering on her white plastic apron. She left for a while and came back with another more senior nurse. They discussed the tear that the junior nurse was having problem stitching since my natural tear happened on top of a vein and the senior nurse advised her to stitch it in another manner.
It didn’t work. The blood clot remained and when she pressed, it hurt. They then consulted the doctor (who broke my water and supervised the labour for a short while). She asked the nurse to re-open the stitches. This time, when the stitches were re-opened, I could feel some blood flow, but at least it did not splashed out like it did earlier. The doctor put a gauge on the tear, and decided that if the blood stop flowing, then no stitches would be necessary there.
After a while, it began to hurt even more that I had to shout for a nurse to come and check on me. The doctor came and realized that the swell had only worsened. So, she consulted another more senior doctor. After a little probing, they came to agree that the haematoma needed the attention of Ah Chan. When the doctors left, I asked a nurse who Ah Chan is, and was told that he’s a specialist for haematoma and hemorrhaging cases. Up till then, those who had been involved in the process were all women, so realizing that a male doctor would be coming, I asked for my tudung. By now I was experiencing a lot of pain because all the procedures up till then had been conducted without anesthetic.
Then Dr Chan arrived and he took a look at the haematoma and explained to me that he was going to open all the stitches and re-do them all over again, but this time I would be put under sedatives. The nurses put some IV drip on my left hand and injected me with some anesthetic on my right hand and I was asked to wear the laughing gas mask before I passed out. The laughing gas brought great relief because by then anything that could take my mind away from all the pain was very much welcomed. But I remembered before passing out, Dr Chan scolded the nurses for not notifying him right away after the first incident of haematoma. Yeay – at least somebody had the mind to do that because honestly, I felt angry too being probed and having the stitches opened and re-done several time without anesthetic.
I woke up a couple of hours later, feeling drowsy yet still very hungry and thirsty. A nurse checked on me and asked if I would like to feed my baby again, to which I said yes. Somehow, holding and feeding my baby was very therapeutic, took my mind away from my own feeling of hunger.
Dr Chan came to check on me after that and he seemed very pleased with the development as the swollen seemed to lessen a bit. He then asked me about what course I’m going to take in Japan. Which really took me by surprise, so I asked back, who told him about me going to Japan. “You did, when you were under sedatives”. Oh, I see… Later, I was told by Mak that according to him, I ranted about going to Japan and my worries of leaving the baby while he conducted the minor surgery, so he knew that it must had been on top of my mind at that moment.
Finally, I was sent to the ward at around 6.30 p.m., over six hours after I gave birth, where else normally, new mothers are sent to the ward about two hours after delivery.
Well, I just hope that if anybody else has any case of labial haematoma, the nurse will be asked to immediately consult the specialist doctor for it. While my experience of giving birth was relatively easy – going through the several processes of the stitches being opened and re-stitched is something I hope could be spared from others.
Still, at the end of the day, getting Huzaifah was worth it.
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